fear

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF FEAR

This is not a scientific piece but the musings on a day of discovery, in the life of a Coach.

Fear meets courage where choice is affirmed.

Yesterday I started getting stressed about what wasn’t moving swiftly as i would want both at work and in my coaching biz. I was exhausted working two jobs, my day 7 to 7 job and my coaching business. I was experiencing intensity in both.

I began to say in my head “what if you can’t do this, what if juggling this leads to complete failure in both, what if you don’t have what it takes”, Panic kicked in.

I knew this inner musings, I have heard them before, it’s the fear barrier leading to the next level of growth. Its the fight or flight situation. But more than that it is the child in me that needs the adult in me to arise, respond and quiet it. To give it permission to choose.

Then I had a pep talk with myself.

I said,

“Whose dream is this you are chasing? Whose pace do you have to maintain? Whose standards do you have to attain? What are you trying to accomplish, is this stress going to aid it or hinder it”? After the questions I knew what my inner voice and body was telling me, she needed permission to pause and rest for a moment. Take the pedal of the intensity and speed gas and just be in the moment, be at peace and re-engerise. To not worry about delay and denial.

So I affirmed to myself the ability and power to choose, I gave myself the permission to be still.
Then I quieted my inner voice, settled my body in a chair, put away the phone and just centered in the moment, attended to my breath and stilled.

I slipped off deeply and peacefully into a power nap. I haven’t been able to do this for a while. Within an hour of the nap, I awoke refreshed, centered and settled and fear and panic had gone.

By just giving myself permission to pause! stop it all!, I gained momentum. Decisions I needed to make became clearer, and strength to continue was supplied from the inside out.

Sometimes what makes us afraid, is the idea that we have no choice or the inability to empower and permit ourselves to choose whether to fight on or pause for a moment. To tell ourselves to attend to our mortality. To pause, rest for as long as is needed. Then continue.

Courage is not just for the fight, it is also for the rest and pause. Fear is not always about flight it is about finding courage to make difficult decisions to stand still. Using our ability to choose, exercising responsibility not only for our dreams but for our well-being and values too.

Next time you fear and panic respond to it.
Ask what it is negotiating for it could be progress or a detour or a pause and rest.

Patience Ogunbona

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